"Gran Torino"

In the past I’ve told you how much respect I get from the other prisoners; well it’s true, I am truly blessed in this aspect of my life. Truth is, I doubt there’s another man in the entire system who gets the overall, across the racial lines, respect I do. No, it isn’t ’cause I’m a bad-ass, or nothing’ like that … the men like me, and respect me as a Con and a person. Which is odd, because if you’ve read my Blogs you know that I’m really blunt about what I consider to be the destructive racial propaganda being forced down the throats of Western Society. Yeah, someone is profiting by keeping us hating on each other.

Someone told me the other day that I was negative in the things I say, not all the time, but, sometimes. And he’s right about this; I do say some harsh things like, “The world would be a better place if half these sons-a-bitches weren’t in it” and, “If it were up to me, I’d take old’ so-n-so out back and hit him in the head with a rock”, or “If I could get away with it I’d take a baseball bat to all them sons-a-bitches”, stuff like that. Hell, I don’t mean it literally, but the point is, I am listening to my critics and, I am trying to tone back my language, a little, lol. But that doesn’t mean I won’t tell the youngsters to pull their pants up.

The other day one of the Blacks said somethin’ I didn’t like or agree with, so I told him this, “Black folks think that all the other races hate ’em, and they do. But y’all think we hate you because you’re skin’s black. But it ain’t got nothin’ to do with the color of your skin! It’s how y’all act that causes people to hate you. Pull your pants up so I don’t have to look at your ass, stop calling women ‘Bitches’ and ” whores” and have a little respect for other people, then folks will quit discriminating against you.” I’ve also told the Illegal’s; a crowd of ’em too, ” I love Mexicans, I do … but it ain’t this country’s fault YOU have to come here. It’s your country’s fault YOU have to come here. So quit hatin’ on this country and our President and start hatin’ your own damn President. Try waving OUR flag every now and then.” Oh, they hate Trump! I tell ’em, “Don’t hate Trump. Hate you own President!” Stuff like that. Things you’d think would get me beat up, but it doesn’t. Do you know why? Well, it’s because these men and I live together on a daily basis and they know me, and they know that while my words carry a sting, in my heart I actually do care about them as human beings. In fact when I’m fixin’ to jump some dudes ass about how he’s carrying himself I always start by saying in a calm voice, “I’m fixing to tell you what you father would tell you if he were here.” Then I tell ’em what they need to hear ; they always let me say my peace, some alter their actions, most don’t, but they ALL listen. You see, I have come to realize that most of these men never had a father, and of the ones that did, a lot of those fathers were some shit … I also realize that, we, ALL of us, are products of our environment. No, I ain’t makin’ excuses for me or them … what I’m saying is … in some cases, I’m the only father figure some of these men have ever had. And I don’t take that lightly.

With all that said, let me say that the biggest things these youngsters do that really bugs me is their never ending use of the word, Nigger – man, when I was young no one ever used that word. But now-a-days it’s usage is so common in black culture that it’s used constantly, mostly by blacks, but also used by Hispanics and even Whites … never in front of me I will add. Because IF I hear a white guy use that word, I light into him with a fury! And, OH MY GOSH, if I see a white boy with his pants sagging, or walking around acting like a Hood Rat … man, I go off on him … in a fatherly way of course, by calling his attention to exactly what that look stands for … in case your wondering, it stands for a man who ain’t never had nothin’ and never will have anything. It’s a sign of a man who doesn’t want a job! It’s a sure sign of being a dumbass. Yeah, I’m pretty blunt about it and I’m very harsh on white-boys who act like that. I call it Bruce Jenner syndrome … yeah, I made this up, but it’s applicable none the less. What is Bruce Jenner Syndrome you ask? Well, it’s as simple as this, we’re supposed to be proud of who we are, no matter what that is, black, white, Hispanic, fat, skinny, pretty, ugly, rich or poor … be PROUD of who YOU are! And anyone who is ashamed of who they are, has self esteem issues. So when I see somebody who wants to be something that he or she ain’t … well, I realize that they have issues. Point is, when a white boy hits the pound and is ashamed of his skin color, or is AFRAID to be himself on the yard, I pull him up and try to school him by explaining a few things to him. If that doesn’t work, I don’t hate him, but, I damn sure don’t condone his actions by hanging around with him either. I don’t hang around with any one who acts like a Hood Rat, no matter what color their skin is … a dumb son-of-a-bitch is a dumb-son-of-a-bitch in any color.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, a few nights back the movie “Gran Torino” with Clint Eastwood was on; everyone likes this movie and so we watched it. Being that I haven’t seen it in a year or so, I too sat down to watch it. Now, I’ve told you before that the fellas make fun of me for being like the Eastwood character in that movie. But on this night we had a diverse group of people come over to sit in front of the white-boy TV to watch it, several blacks and several Hispanics. I swear to you we weren’t into that movie ten minutes before my cellie brought up the comparison by pointing and laughing, and it was on from there. They ragged me mercilessly through the whole movie, laughing and pointing fingers, and then, during commercials they’d tell funny stories about some of the stuff I’ve said, or, they’ve heard I said. The story that got the biggest laugh was from one of the black Muslims who told a story about how I acted when this white Muslim showed up and was put into the cell with one of the white guys here in our cellblock … yeah, it was true story, but I didn’t act out like all that! well, some of it I did. I mean, I did tell the Muslims to get him out of our cell, but it wasn’t because he was a white Muslim, it was because of the tattoos he had on his face and body. I could tell right off by those tattoos that he was no good, a Bruce Jenner sum bitch, no not a homosexual, I don’t give a damn about that, but he was a white hatin’ white boy, a no good bastard … and it didn’t take the Muslims long to figure out for their damned selves how right I was about him and then THEY couldn’t wait to get rid of him, too. But, of course, in the story, complete with exaggerated facial expressions, the black Muslim Shot Caller told the story about how I over reacted about having a WHITE boy Muslim. Yeah, it was funny to see him telling this story. And, when the Eastwood character said, “You know how every now and then you run across someone you just shouldn’t have messed with? Well, that’s me,” the fellas all busted out laughing and started all over again, man they had one hell of a good laugh at my expense.

I suppose my point in all this is multifaceted. One, I am ever reminded about how blessed I am compared to others, in and out of prison. Also, I guess that I wanted to say that you can have an opinion contrary to others, and even express those differences of opinions without all the violence and hatred you see on the TV these days, and without being called a racist, if your heart is right. Yeah, and, you know what, after having been in politics where I had to be nice to people I didn’t even like, this freedom I now enjoy is a breath of fresh air. And, no matter what I say, or how much I complain about these men … I’m one of them. And while here, I’ll try to serve Gods purpose as best an ol’ sinner like me can … even if I have a bastard way of doing it.

Read a good book: “Black Rednecks and White Liberals” by Thomas Sowell … I recommend it.

As always, Peace be with you.

Three Rivers, 3-4-19